Accepting apologies

I’ve always believed that accepting an apology is the same as forgiving someone.  But the Lord showed me that I was very wrong in my understanding of forgiveness. 

I was given a very heartfelt apology recently and I accepted it.  I thought that was the end of the incident, however, a couple of days later I felt some bitterness creeping to the surface.  It made me wonder what I actually accomplished by “accepting” the apology.  Not much.  The acceptance did declare a few things: I understood that the person was acknowledging their wrongdoing, I understood that they wished they would’ve done things differently, and I understood that their regret was sincere.  So, I “accepted” those declarations.  I even expressed some of my own regrets and apologies were issued.  My heart felt relieved and refreshed, but it was short-lived.  I hadn’t  actually forgiven anything.  True forgiveness wipes the slate clean.  Forgiveness says not only is the apology accepted, but the relationship has been restored to it’s pre-offense condition.  It’s as if the offense had never taken place.  

Well, what if they don’t request my forgiveness?  No matter.  The Lord commands me to forgive those who wrong me as He forgives me who wrongs Him daily.  Forgiveness is a transaction between me and my Lord.  I do it because He tells me too, not because I think the person deserves it or because I agree with what they did.  Forgiveness does not condone wrong actions.  Forgiveness says, I know you screwed up but I screw up too, and I am so grateful that the Lord doesn’t hold that against me.  Likewise,  I won’t hold it against you and I pray that the Lord reveal to you any areas that need to be confessed to Him.  Only then is it the end of the incident.  Impossible?  Yes.  In case you haven’t noticed, humans hate to forgive and let things go.  I know I love to harbor bitter memories and store them away for the future when I can whip them out to prove my case.  But that is sinful and hideous and the Lord despises that kind of heart.  So, how do you even attempt the impossible?  I cling to the truth that the Lord will give me grace to accomplish that which He commands me to do.  It’s that simple.  Do I believe Him?  Do I really think He can make me do the impossible?  Does He really make ALL things new?  No doubt.  So by His grace what am I going to do?  Work it out.