The swapping of “have”

Jeremy and I went to a marriage retreat this past weekend put on by Austin Stone. I can’t even begin to describe the vast amount of spiritual and practical wisdom I gained from attending. I hope to be able to share portions of that over time, because it was just-that-good! Even before Jeremy and I were married, I had some idea of my role as his partner. We almost split before exchanging our vows, but I remember that something or someone was telling me not to go. I vividly remember looking at him as I prepared to give him my last goodbye. I couldn’t do it. I specifically heard “you have to take care of this man.” I wasn’t sure why, certainly didn’t desire to do so, but begrudgingly accepted that statement and moved forward. Through the years, the Lord has revealed more details about my role as Jeremy’s wife. Each time I’ve met a hard truth, I’ve viewed it with the same resentment, “I have to submit to this man….I have to fulfill his needs….I have to be gentle and quiet….I have to be his helper…” etc. But the Lord will not rest with me fulfilling my role as a wife begrudgingly. He has begun to show me an entirely new perspective in regards to my calling. This past weekend, I began to realize what He’s been doing. My dark heart was screaming, “I have to take care of this man!” But the Lord has given my heart a new song. It now sings, “I get to take care of this man!” My, how things sound so different with the swapping of “have” for “get.” God has given me such a precious blessing as Jeremy’s wife. I’ve been so selfishly blind to that truth for far too long. I am so grateful the Lord took the time to flip the switch of my bitter heart. I pray He continues to do so fervently.